Is my Daemon a match?

The "C" Word

This is an excerpt taken from our program for our performances of 'The Vagina Monologues."

Our producer/director thought that it would help some of our audience members to understand the background to the monologue 'Reclaiming Cunt' - and help them to keep an open mind as they heard a word spoken very openly, that is so shunned in our society.

I have read this excerpt to my female co-workers, as well as my Mum, and all of them requested copies, because they love that what they always thought to be such a horrible word is actually not so bad - they have opened their minds to the possibility that we can take that word back! My sister has also been subjected to 'c-word talk', though she still refuses to even accept that the word could be a good one. I'm still working on her. My Mum really loved learning the history of the word, and my Grama pointed out that she never had an overly large problem with it in the first place.

Personally, after taking part in TVM, I have been able to overcome the dread of using even the word 'vagina' in every day talk. I've also "reclaimed" cunt, and have no problem saying it... What do you think?

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Origins of the word "Cunt"
information taken from STONE AGE DIVAS
by Gloria Bertonis, M.Ed.

"Cuneiform", the most ancient form of writing, derives from "kunta", a Sumerian word of ancient Iraq. "Kunta" is "woman" in several Near Eastern and African languages. "Kunta" means literally "one who has female genitalia", and was the term for "priestess" in ancient Sumeria. It is also spelled "Quna," which is the root of "queen." Since priestesses were the administrators in Sumeria c.3100 B.C. when cuneiform was first used, cuneiform was called "the sign of the Kunta", the Kunta being women who kept the books for the temple economy on clay tablets. They were responsible for the redistribution of monies that evolved from communal economics of ancient cultures.

When an abuser calls a woman a "cunt" he is actually calling her a "queen who writes and shares the wealth". Girls and women can thus reclaim a word that in our language has been used as a weapon against us.

The speakers of many ancient languages did not have large vocabularies as we do and the same word had different meanings, according to the context in which it was used. "Kunta" is also the root of "Kundalini" meaning "energy". "Cunti-Devi" is the name of the Indian Goddess of Energy and "Kun" is the Goddess of Mercy. In Japanese, "Cunda" is the mother of Buddha. "Quni" is the Korean Goddess of Love, who represents the sensuality, sexuality, and the divinity present in all females.

Christmas??

Before I start the main part of this post, what you need to know about me is how much I love Christmas.

It's the best time of year - family stuck together in a cozy house, drinking warm drinks, talking, (mostly) enjoying each other's company. I do look forward to it for the better part of each year. I have even been known to listen to the odd Christmas CD at random points throughout the year - it's odd but sometimes the songs just randomly pop into my head, and I can't be rid of them till I hear them... but that being said, should also mention here that it's once in a blue moon, and not for extended periods of time.

So the reason for this post is to rant about Christmas - and how retailers, in North America at least, are determined to suck the Christmas out of Christmas. It's all about money. And that attitude is very disappointing.

I walked into our local Zellers (for any potential American readers, it's our version of Target) before my birthday (Oct 17), but after our Thanksgiving, only to find the start of the Christmas displays.

I was shocked - last year they seemed to at least wait until after Halloween (mind you, it was November 1st at midnight) to put them up - but this year, they showed no such regard.

Then imagine my extreme surprise (though I suppose it shouldn't exist, really) when I walked into the Zellers close to my office on Nov 2 of this year, and found them playing Christmas music - and that in the 20 minutes I was there, I heard the same song by the same artist twice. It's ridiculous. I commented on it to the clerk who checked me out, and she said that none of them were impressed with their boss when he announced that morning that they would be starting up the music.

Advertising for Christmas shopping this early in the year steals the magic from it. Putting up displays is one thing - you can avoid them if you choose - but playing the music ad nauseum for almost two months is just too much.

Why not leave the decorations up year round? Why not have every fifth song on the radio be a Christmas one year round. Heck - why not leave Santa's hut up in the malls and let kids get their pics taken year round? It's all about money right?

And that's another thing that bothers me. On December 26/27 these same stores that are so quick to start the money making and boost their bottom lines in the fall, are also so quick to do the exact opposite - pull everything down - 'out of sight out of mind' until eight months later. The Christmas season doesn't end just because the gift giving does.

We live in one heck of a sad, mucked up world.

(Not the most eloquent post ever - but I needed to get that off of my chest!)

Holy Windy Batman

Just thought I'd comment on the crazy weather we seem to be having today.

Winds of up to 100 km/h?? Woah! But at least it's nice and sunny...

That will be the saving grace when the tree in our backyard is blown into our house via the basement window (as it has been threatening to do for the last few hours).

Happy Sunday tout le monde!

Cheers :)

Small problem

(Before I get started, this picture was taken in Bergen over the summer, during my first overseas trip ever. It is also during this time that the world at large, or the bubble in which I live, became aware of my problem... read on...)

I have this teensy weensy problem.

It's called a camera.

Some people I know, or may in fact be related to, believe I should never be allowed to have one in my possession.

But I LOVE taking pictures. Have done since I was 6 and got my Brownie Photography badge.

I must admit that I don't have the best camera - it is just a point and shoot Fujifilm digital 2.0 megapixel.

Really it's not the greatest to begin with, and now the batteries in it don't last more than a day.

I've learned very little about using beautiful SLR cameras - though one day I would like to be able to afford one, and also be able to take 'f-stop' lessons (one of the terms in this world that scares the living bejesus out of me).

Anyway, this is my official announcement that the world needs some form of PTA meetings for shutterbugs like me. (No, not Parent Teacher Associations... Picture Takers Annoymous).

Hi, my name is Starr... and I have a picture taking problem...

Cheers :)

The problem with Improv

Hola,

I am looking for some help from anyone out there willing to give it.

I am studying improv at the moment, with the hopes of earning a Theatre Performance Certificate.

Anyway, we learn in our improv classes that saying no to any offer is a huge faux pas, and therefore shouldn't be done.

And don't we discover Starr's problem with not being able to say yes...

So, what I am wondering is if there is anyone out there who is studying/did study improv, and had the same problem, and was able to overcome it. And if so, if they could share their wisdom.

Or if there's a person out there who is an improv genius, and never had a problem with the word no, who could shed some light on their ability to avoid that mean little word...

I would really appreciate any help!

Cheers :)

My puppy

This is my puppy Senie (her name is short for Senorita).

No, she is not the Taco Bell dog, and no we didn't get her because we saw the commercials and fell in love with Chihuahua's - and *sarcastic NO* I've never heard any of those comments, nor have I ever been asked those questions before. Geez. (We are not like the families who bought Dalmatians after Disney's lovely movies, only to abandon them once realizing they weren't cartoons and had real needs. Sorry if you're a member of one of those families. Sorta).

One time, I was picking my Mum up from the local GO station, and had Senie with me. While we were parked, I picked her up and let her sit in my lap (she's totally a people watcher). She stood on her hind legs with her front paws on the steering wheel (too cute - sadly I don't have a picture of that) and started just looking around. It was a warmer spring-like day, so I had the windows open, and some 'skater-type' dude came past the car and leaned in saying "Yo quiero Taco Bell, Dude" - I rolled my eyes, and giggled, and Senie *gasp* barked.

Anyway, I suppose she's not really a puppy anymore, is she?

We have had Chihuahuas (they are supposed to be non-allergenic. The scientists who decided this were on crack) since before I was born, and this one since just before I turned 14. Meaning she herself is 13. Did I do that math right? If you've read my last post, you'll note that I am SO not math inclined. Anyway, she's either 13 or 14. Crap.

Ah well. The point of this post is not to give a disertation on my family and their pet buying tendencies/history, nor my lack of mathematician qualities. I (ack - just discovered there are quick keys for posting blogs!) am supposed to be rambling about my not-so-puppy!

As you can probably tell from the pictures, she is going blind. What you can't tell is that she is also going deaf (I hope the blindness isn't from the over zealous amount of pictures I take of her. That in and of itself is a long story about another puppy that got hit by a car - stupid speeding driver - that we didn't have many pictures of. So of course, I go overboard with the next one. But I think that's ok.).

The reason for this post is my interrupted afternoon nap.

No, I am not a toddler requiring copious amounts of sleep (though I did spend the better part of the early afternoon with more babies and toddlers in one room than I ever have in my life - perhaps inspiring the nap - happy first birthday, Madeline!!). I am a twenty-something that can't sleep, so when my body finally decides to feel like sleeping, and it's a Saturday, and I'm not at my desk, who am I to argue??

So, I finally settle in, and get all comfy under my Doyna (I don't really know how to spell that - but it means duvet in Norwegian... long family story - maybe I'll tell it later. Also, I think the 'o' in doyna should have a funny cross thru it) and start to doze. I was dreaming about my improv class, and somehow that warped into something about sewing with the people from improv class. I should mention here that I have really weird dreams. When I dream. But I digress again. (Sorry for rambling).

All of a sudden, miss Senie starts barking. Ad nauseum. Usually, she does a few wee barks, then settles back down. So today I was hoping for one of those spurts, because otherwise I have to go get her, and pet her to get her to stop barking. Because remember, she's deaf, and can't hear me calling her.

Unfortunately, about five minutes later (I was really comfy, ok??) she is still barking. And still can't hear me. Duh. I hit the wall, hoping for vibrations to pull her away from the front door - but to no avail (I was incredibly comfy!!). I had to unwrap myself from my cocoon and go upstairs and rescue her from her nemesis: the front door, and the imaginary bad guys on the other side, so that she would stop. When I finally got her settled on her bed, she started barking again. I actually had to open the front door so she could 'see' that there wasn't any thing on the front porch for her to be barking at. I know she can't see much, but it seemed to have convinced her, because she finally did scratch around and lay herself back down. But my sleep was interrupted, and after kinda settling in again, only crazy dreams that kept waking me up kept happening. And I am now tired. Still tired. Whatever. :)

I should mention here that I shouldn't really complain about the afternoon barking, though, because she has done it at 2am before, and I didn't get back to sleep that night. But the culprit was real that time - in the form of an oversized raccoon, who was walking the width of our balcony out back. As he moved away from the house, Senie would bark at him. He would move closer and closer along the railing, causing Senie to bark even more, and then suddenly disappear when he got too close to the house. Her barking would slow down slightly, until he decided he wanted to walk the railing again to get her all riled up... again. I was not a happy camper that night, and I may have had very bad thoughts about pushing the bloody raccoon off of our balcony. But that would be animal cruelty, and I don't agree with that. And I'm afraid of raccoons.

I also wonder if poor Senie barks her afternoons away when we are not home. I'm surprised she hasn't barked her barker raw yet.

Again, sorry for the ramble :)

Cheers!

Stuck

Hola,

Ok. I loved Wicked. Have spent the last few days forcing myself to memorize the music... (the poor people at work that have had to endure thinking they hear music from somewhere in my cubicle, convincing themselves that they are hearing things, only to discover that, yes, I have been secretly playing it on my laptop... shhh). But I have, for lack of a better term, discovered the downside.

It is now stuck in my head. Seemingly permanently. Mainly the song 'Defying Gravity' which has been on repeat in my car for the last day or so. That's the one that stuck with me most (haha - that was not intended to be a pun... but it works quite well!). And of course only one part of the song is stuck in my head, which only serves to drive me crazy.

Ah well - the price of being a musical whore (stole part of that term from my friend Jacks, who calls herself a music whore) and needing to learn all the music from each and every one I see.

In other news, it never fails to amaze me how much musical information I can retain in my brain, and yet I can't remember important things. Like math. Or my credit card number.

Cheers :)

Sympatico

I'm pretty sure I'm about ready to rip my hair out here.

We are going on four months now with a severe lack of internet connectivity.

And I swear!! If I have to run another marathon through our house to hook up the modem from a different jack, I think I may just throw the modem as far as I can and desert the internet forever!!! ack!!!

(although, all of that being said, I'm sure I've lost a bit of weight running back and forth... hehe... and I'm also sure my internet addiction wouldn't pass so easily!)

I'm also pretty sure that opening 22 IE windows in my frustration to try to 'jump start' the bloody connection won't work. (In fact I know it, but I'm in denial.) But remember, I'm doing it out of frustration, so hitting little mouse buttons quite forcefully seems to be somewhat theraputic. At least until none of the windows actually load, and then I'm left with 22 'cannot find server' messages, and a growing bit of anger. It also isn't so fun to close down those additional 22 windows one at a time, as I can't close the entire group at once because I have other pages open to important things... which we won't go into detail about, because you'll make fun :) - and no, it's not porn or anything else dirty.

Anyway - just needed to vent. I'm sure I won't be able to post this the first time around, as I haven't gone more than 5 minutes in the last two hours or so without losing the bloody connection. I will try again later if necessary! (As I'm sure all of you readers are concerned about missing another of my postings *sarcasm*... hehe).

Cheers :)
J

p.s. I was right - I got a 'there were errors message' on the blogger site - and the errors? CONNECTION... let's try again :)

Wicked

Saw the play Wicked tonight at the Cannon Theatre!

Where to start??

I really loved it! It was an incredible production, and the cast was amazing!

What a clever story to spin out of a classic masterpiece.

I don't know what it is - but I suppose it's the performer in me - that makes me want to get up and audition for the next production coming along after seeing great performances.

But here we are - Starr wanting to join the theatre... again...

I will get there someday - in the meantime, I will live vicariously through the experiences of others, and the enjoyment they provide whilst performing up there!

(psst - go see it!!)

Cheers :)

Downtown

(Wrote this by hand, as I was downtown today and without access to a computer...)

10:50 am Oct 24:

I am sitting on the ledge (inside... no worries) of my Mum's boss's office window in downtown TO, just admiring the view. Personally, if it was my office and my call, I would put cushions on the ledges and work from there instead of the boring desk. But that's just me...

I am eleven floors up at Richmond and York - from here I can see Old City Hall, the back of the Sheraton Hotel (which blocks my view of Nathan Phillips Square... I totally wouldn't want to stay on this side of the hotel - party because lower down there'd be no view, and partly because I wouldn't want to be giving anyone else a... view... but don't worry - I didn't see anything... unsavoury today...), Osgoode Hall and a few other court houses in the distance. The new Four Seasons Center sits proudly on it's block, with University Avenue a clear view just beyond.

The city is so breathtakingly beautiful from above, and I find myself filled with some sort of nostalgic feeling - wishing I could live down here permanently, I guess - though I don't know why, as I've never actually spent an extended period of time down here. I have, however, always loved coming into the city, and I suppose the feeling stems from that.

That totally makes me sound like a country kid. I'm just a suburban one - stuck between the city and the country, and yearning for a bit of both.

They're calling for snow today. Foreboding clouds are rolling quickly southward overhead with a promise of some sort of weather upset - though what it will be, who knows?

A few of the clouds part, and beautiful patches of blue peek through, followed shortly by the sun (which shines on the buildings and bringing them to life), but they're quickly swallowed up again as the clouds continue their race to the waterfront.

I wonder how many people stop to look at the sight of these buildings and their characters as they are revealed in a new light, or watch the patterns the clouds are forming. I know the people in the building with me didn't/don't - I got up and pointed them out. I wonder if actually being down here would cloud (no pun intended, I promise) my eyes, and not let me see things like this.

Anyway, these menacing cotton balls don't take away from the allure or 'mystique' of the city below - if anything they add to it. There's just something about Toronto in winter (or pre-winter, as it were).

Just to my left, I catch a glimpse of the Canada Life building. It's beacon lights are white and climbing - meaning the temperature should do the same. Let's just hope it doesn't climb too high.

To be honest, I love the snow! There's just something so magical and peaceful about the first few quiet snowfalls of the year - and I can't wait for a real and sustained one.

Alas, back to the city, which continues on it's way, regardless of the ponderings of a twenty-something sitting in a window high above.

(P.S. It rained... :) )